Opposite but Equal (An email sent just before Thanksgiving.)

As we celebrate Thanksgiving on Thursday and move into the Christmas holidays, we begin to hear those bells and see those red buckets into which we deposit a dollar or so every time we leave the drug store, book store, grocery store, or simply pass a street corner. I am speaking, of course, of the Salvation Army. I used to be one of those people who gave a dollar or two every time I passed them, even after learning that they discriminate against homosexuals and homosexual families. My argument was that the families and individuals who do receive help should not be hobbled by the organization's treatment of others.

My wife, good woman that she is, pointed out to me that there are many other organizations who happily help people, regardless of their sexual orientation. I could donate all that money to them, and then no one loses. So, for the past few years, I have done so. My charity of choice is the Chicago Food Depository.

It should be pointed out that the Salvation Army does not refuse to help homosexuals. Their official stance is that they do not discriminate against those they help (as a group that receives federal dollars, they are not allowed to do so) but they do attempt to preach their beliefs to those they help, which amounts to "heterosexuality or celibacy." They do, however, find a way to fire any person who comes out while working there and they refuse to hire homosexuals who are open during the interview process. They also have actively fought any attempt to make the LGBT community a federally protected group.

There seems to be a deeper problem here, though, for people who are members of the Christian faith. There is a streak running through both the Protestant and Catholic branches of the Christian faith of "hate the sin but love the sinner." It is rarely possible for people to separate behavior from the individual in the humanist community (who still maintain a mind/body dualist philosophy), much less from a community which believes the "person" and his or her behavior are deeply connected, so much so that the person's behavior can carry over with him or her to the afterlife and affect admission into Heaven or Hell. So to hate the sin eventually morphs into hating the sinner. At the very least, marginalizing the sinner. The latter may be worse, as the opposite of love is not hate but indifference.

I am sure that even those who are not part of the Christian faith are familiar with the story of the woman at the well. For those unfamiliar, here is a summary. Jesus approached a woman who was drawing water from a well. She was considered "untouchable," yet Jesus asked her for some water. Even acknowledging her in this manner was considered taboo. Yet Jesus did so. There are other examples: the adultress (oddly absent the adulterer) being stoned, sitting at table with tax collectors, attending the lepers. It can be accurately argued that Jesus did tell the adultress to "go and sin no more," but this was following a request for that information on her part. He did not force it upon her or make his help conditional upon her receiving that information. He gave the 5,000 their food first. They were welcome to leave or stay as they chose. He did not make the receiving of food conditional on listening to a sermon. As a result, the people were more receptive to the information than if they had been required to listen first. Had the latter been true, many would no doubt have sought food and philosophical discourse elsewhere.

The point to make is this: according to scripture, Jesus interacted with other humans as humans first. If the listener wanted to engage in deeply religious conversation, he allowed them to make the decision. His help, his love, were free for the taking. It is like asking for a modest donation for a service but not requiring it. No pushiness leads to more donations. Certainly there are those who will abuse the system but this is a relatively small part of the population and the onus is upon them. Those who have been charitable have done their duty.

As you go out this season to do your duty as an American and consume, remember the words of Rabbi Hillel, "That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. That is the whole of the Torah; the rest is the commentary. Go and learn." It is hateful to us to be marginalized, to have our freedom and happiness diminshed, to be treated as less than human. Do not drop those dollars in the red buckets. Instead, save them and give them to an organization who helps people indiscriminately. Better yet, volunteer and "be the change."

Happy Thanksgiving and a Merry Christmas!